If you’re in a relationship that seems long-lasting, moving in with your girlfriend is a natural step you might feel compelled to take. And after all – why not: you’ll be able to split the rent, cook, and slightly cut down the budget for big dates. However, shaking up brings its own set of changes and problems. So before you start living with your girlfriend, here are a few things we recommend to keep in mind.
Settling down together in a fresh home is a beautiful milestone, you just gotta make sure you are ready for it
Why Is Moving in With a Girlfriend, a Big Life Milestone?
So, you’ve had roommates before, and you’ve also been spending most of your days and nights with your paramour. Still, moving in with your girlfriend for real is still somewhat different. You are not just getting a new roommate or a fresh home but are embarking on an exciting journey of your love life. And while it is bound to bring you much happiness and closeness, you should also get ready for challenges and changes as well. So, if you are looking for an answer to the question known as: should I move in with my girlfriend, we are here to provide you with tools to answer that question yourself.
Do Relationships Change When You Move in Together?
Relationships do change once you decide to cohabitate. But that is normal – they are always in flux either way. You’ll soon realize you are seeing your partner in a different light, as you’ll be spending more time with her in your home, both the good and the bad days. The two of you will become more intimate and involved and form a stronger bond as you move through life together. And while you are surely going to enjoy living with your favorite person, you should also be prepared that not everything will always be sunshine and rainbows. To hear more on how relationships change once you start sharing a roof, check out the following video:
#1 Don’t Jump Into Something You Aren’t Ready For
We do not mean to scare you but moving in is kind of a big deal. Relationships and love are difficult already, let alone when you place cohabitation in the equation. And of course, there is nothing better than eating the best takeout in NYC with your boo in a newly furnished bedroom, but you should be certain you’ve decided on living in Manhattan with your partner for the right reasons.
Of course, we do not live in a perfect world, so sometimes, cohabitation can happen due to financial or other constraints. Having your own personal reasons to move is okay. However, you still want to ensure that you are fully prepared to move in with someone you are romantically involved with. So, before you move, make sure to check in with yourself and be aware of the main driving force that is urging you to create this decision. Are you doing it because of love, rent, peer or parent pressure, or something else entirely?
How Long Should You Be Dating Before You Move in Together?
You might be asking: how long should you wait to move in with your girlfriend? Well, there is no one definite answer that will tell you what to do. However, there are statistics we can share with you. Here is what most US citizens think is the perfect moment to move in with your partner:
Roughly 25% of Americans think moving in together should happen between the fourth and sixth month of the relationship.
45% of US citizens believe a couple should be together for at least a year before marking this milestone.
70% of couples who’ve been together more than two years moved in.
To conclude: people choose to move in at different stages of their relationship. Men and women have different tendencies, as do younger and older folks. No one can actually tell you what to do or when is the best time to change your address, and there is no certain recipe things will work out. It’s up to you and your gf to figure out what works best for you and what challenges you are willing to take up, which brings us to our next point.
You could be dating someone for a month or for two years, but the decision to cohabitate should be formed without any pressure
#2 Get Ready to Talk About How You Feel About the Move Openly
If you are about to move in with someone, you’ll have to be ready to communicate – like a lot, and often. And when better to start than now? A decision like this shouldn’t be made under pressure or in a blink of an eye, so before you throw a going-away party, ensure there are no unsaid words about the move first. You want to ensure the two of you are 100% sure about the move, as well as what it means for your relationship.
Make Sure All Expectations and Fears Are Out in the Open
You might be feeling anxious about the change and keep thinking about things like: does moving together kill a relationship? Calm down, everything is okay – you are just under some stress. And your boo is probably also going through stresses of her own too, so before you start searching the web, talk to her. Be vulnerable about your fears and expectations, and get ready to hear the other side as well – and do not let communication be a thing you deal with after you move.
Conversation is the best remedy for anxiety.
#3 You’ll Probably Need Some Time to Get Used to Sharing a Space With Your Partner – And That’s Okay
Especially if up till now you were living in one of the best neighborhoods for singles, having your own space and quiet, and socializing only when you wanted to – get ready for some adjustments. There is a lot to get used to – another person’s alarm, her dirty socks, her wet towel, make-up, and the way she eats. And once again, all these pet peeves you are bound to acquire will best be solved with some good old communication.
Don’t Let the Period of Getting Used to the Change Scare You
Not only is cohabitation a different stage in a relationship, but relocation stress is a thing you’ll have to get used to as well. People actually report needing around six months to adjust to living together. So, if the first few months seem hard, it is probably because they are. Don’t let that get the best of you, though. Give yourselves a few months to adjust to living in Staten Island together.
Sharing your life with someone takes some getting used to
#4 Money Is Going to Be an Important Topic
If you are not a big fan of talking about cash, well, you are in for a ride. Money is a really important subject when it comes to a shared life. Because you want your life together to be in harmony as much as possible, you should do everything in your power to avoid financial conflicts – and that is best done when done prior to any problems arising.
Because money can be a sensitive subject, it’s important to be cold-headed about it. We recommend scheduling ”money dates” with your significant other to talk through every aspect of your shared costs. Take these designated hours to go over every bill and fee you have, and you’ll be good to go for the month.
It’s Wise to Figure Out Finances Before You Settle in
Some people have to be saving money to move, but even if you do not, ensure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to finances. Here are some topics we recommend you and your boo figure out before you relocate:
Figure out your budget for New York movers – A move in itself requires a bunch of spending. If you want to hire one of the moving companies in New York, you should have your relocation expenses budget figured out as a couple.
What is your rent maximum? – If neither of you owns a place, figure out how much you can spend on rent before you start apartment hunting. Talk about how you’re going to split the rent while you’re at it.
How will you pay for utilities? – There is no right or wrong way to go about splitting bills – some couples will do it 50/50, some according to their paychecks, and others will switch it up as they go. One partner might pay for electricity, and the other for Wi-Fi, it is up to you two to pick the best solution.
Talk about credit card scores and debt – Once you start dating, credit scores can be an awkward conversation. However, now you should have your finances in tune. They will make a huge difference about the choices you make as cohabitants, so do not skip on talking them over.
How will you overcome financial hardship? – Hopefully, this topic will stay only in the realm of a hypothesis. However, it’s still due for a conversation or two. What if one of you loses a job, or for some reason, you run out of savings? Having a plan for the worst-case scenarios will ensure that you are both feeling safe.
Do not avoid talking about money - it's an important topic to have
#5 Know That It’s Okay to Have Your Me-Time
At the end of the day, you are a part of a couple because you enjoy being around this person. However, when you don’t have any constraint regarding the time you are to spend in their company, you can easily stop spending any on your own, or with your friends. In order for your relationship and yourself to grow, you’ll still have to evolve as your own person – which sometimes might require conscious effort. As they say – to value the time you spend together, you have to spend some apart.
Don’t Stop Going on Dates Either
On the other hand, you still might have to input some effort into keeping the relationship fresh. Once you are living in Brooklyn, in your perfect little nest, it might seem preposterous to go out to a brewery in Queens or another formerly favorite date spot. However, you should still grow and explore as a couple, whatever that might mean for you. You might want to rent a bike and go for a tour around Brooklyn parks or go to a movie theater – whatever works for you is something you should nurture.
Get out on the town once in a while - both as individuals and a couple
Once You Decide It’s Time for Moving in With Your Girlfriend, Your Next Job Will Be to Hire a New York Moving Company
Because moving in New York is so difficult, we always recommend adding looking for help on your to-do list. Because, whether you are to move with pets, your significant other, or a friend, there’s no better way to move efficiently than with the help of one of New York moving companies. And our local movers in New York will employ every relocation hack in the book to make your residential relocation an easy one.
Out of all the New York City moving companies, we are the only ones who can guarantee a safe and budget-friendly relocation, as well as impeccable service. Whether you need commercial relocation services or a pro packing service, know that you can rely on our New York City movers. We urge you to contact us today for any questions you may have, and our friendly customer support team will gladly give you a free quote while you’re at it. So, hesitate no longer – we are waiting for your call!